Dating With A Disability

BE UPFRONT ABOUT YOUR ABILITIES AND DISABILITY

My disability is an invisible one. Therefore on the first date I never actually mentioned it until closer to the end of the date when I felt more comfortable and wanted to see where if we were going to go on a second date. I felt that after the man had spent a few hours with me and got to know me he would be able to judge me better than just prejudge me with misconceptions. I explained what my abilities were and how sometimes I had limitations which created my disability.

This worked most effectively for me, especially with the man that I ended up marrying. He too has a disability and was able to feel comfortable enough to discuss his openly also. All because I opened the door to conversation. He has MS however it, at the time, was not very apparent, a slight limp or a slur of words. Which could to me be a strained muscle or an alcoholic drink.

We began a great dating relationship. It grew solid due the honesty I showed him by sharing with him the fact that I was disabled and vice versa. This created a very strong foundation on which our relationship continued to grow with good values like trust, honesty and integrity. We forged a strong bond in the fact that we knew we could rely on one another in our relationship due to this strong foundation. We helped one another with each other's disability whenever needed, and still do even today.

For three wonderful years, we dated, managing to build a wonderful relationship around each others disability or special needs. There were times that one of us had a flare up, such as a dizzy spell, and we would need to alter our plans. However, the other was always very understanding. At those times we would do something else together, sometimes as simple as watching t.v., ordering delivery and sitting around talking. The times that we were both doing well we would spend golfing, playing pool, taking pictures, visiting grandchildren, going to movies, going out to dinner and traveling. Just like normal everyday couples spend time together.

Most importantly we knew what ups and downs life came with and we enjoyed each day as it dawned. Whatever came with it, we rolled along. We realized laughter, friendship and love were three of the most important values one needed to carry with them in each new day. Especially for those of us who are faced with disabilities, we can't let things keep us down. We need to pick each other up and keep going on with life. We became best friends in the intern, over three years later we married.